I recently read Asian American movie director Jon M. Chu’s memoir, Viewfinders, and in it he recalls a powerful moment on the set of Crazy Rich Asians. It’s the scene when Eleanor says to Rachel, “you will never be enough.” He recalls the power it had on set as it expressed how he and many of the crew members felt growing up and as Asian Americans navigating careers in Hollywood.
This resonated with me as I too have felt this throughout my life. This feeling inevitably showed up at work, manifesting as imposter syndrome. I recall a time earlier in my career when I was told I got a promotion and my reaction wasn’t of joy and celebration, but complete shock. I didn’t see it coming. I thought it was a mistake and that I didn’t deserve it.
Research has shown that BIPOCs tend to have higher rates of imposter syndrome. Add in the intersectionality of gender identity, sexuality, disability, and/or neurodiversity, and the feeling of not being enough is further amplified. Internally, this can appear as an inner voice that says we’re not good enough to achieve our goals and that we don’t deserve the successes we’ve had. These parts stem from oppressive systems, and not our true selves.
When you reflect on your own goals, what “not enough” messages do you hear that hold you back? Maybe it’s applying for a new position, asking for a raise or promotion, speaking up more in meetings, choosing the riskier path, or in my case, writing this blog. I’ve found that the best solution is to simply do it anyway.